As I write this I’m sitting at your grave site. There’s another baby being buried today, and a lot of people around. I hope you’re there to meet and guide them through their new home in heaven. You know what it’s like to be prematurely taken from your parents, and you can lend support to your new friend.
I’m less sad today. I feel guilty about that, but I know it’s what you want for me. I know that you’re in a pure form now, and all you want for mommy and daddy is to be happy until we can be with you again. We’re trying, son. It’s so difficult to be without you, though.
Mommy and I slept with your favorite shirt last night. I know you never got to wear it, but somehow I just know it’s the one you would have loved the best. It brings us a little bit of comfort to hold something physical. In the hospital we only had a few hours to be with you and kiss your face, which is more than I suppose a lot of parents get, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough.
There’s so much I wanted to say to you today, but now the only thing I can fit through my mind is that I love you and I miss you. I guess that’s enough, though, isn’t it? That’s really all we have now is love for you and wishes that you were with us.
Take good care of your friends up in Heaven. I hope to be with you again someday.
Thinking fondly of you,
Daddy
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