"Well... he never existed."
Shock, replaced immediately by incredulity and hurt. The above words were spoken to me by my brother, in reference to Aiden.
I had just been mentioning that I was planning a trip out to see our grandmother to introduce her to little Kevie as her first Bailey great grandson. I corrected myself right away, which confused my brother. He asked who the first was if not Kevin Jr., and I just said matter-of-factly that Aiden was.
"Well... he never existed," was my brother's reply to me.
How the fuck anyone would think to say that to another human being about their dead child is simply beyond me. Really? He never existed? God, why didn't you tell me earlier; I've been spending so much time mourning him, missing him, crying for him. I could have saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress if I had know that he never existed. That whole funeral thing was a big waste of money, too, if that's the case, and all those needless hospital bills.
Really? He never existed? I still can't get over how hurtful those words are. I know it wasn't his intent to be hurtful, and he immediately apologized as soon as I started defending my son.
What am I supposed to do now, though? He's my brother, not just a friend I could stop talking to completely. If almost anyone else had said that to me, that would have been the end of our relationship. Do not pass Go. I would have gotten up, walked out, and never said a word to that person again. I was sorely tempted to, regardless. But instead, my friend Chris came to the rescue and changed the subject without much hesitation, and I was able to get through the night and pretend things were normal while secretly heartbroken.
I've always looked up to my brother. He's been there for me in the worst of times, and, being 12 years older, he helped raise me. I've been a financial burden on him at times, and he's never once complained, nor has he ever asked for recompense. There's practically nothing I wouldn't do for the guy.
Now with this statement hanging over my head, I don't know if that relationship has been permanently damaged. I hope not, but if that's how he honestly feels...